Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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