heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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