If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
