Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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