i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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