I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
