Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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