so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
