So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
