I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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