also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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