she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
