Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
