I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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