That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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