So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize