Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
