i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
