can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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