Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
