In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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