I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize