So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
