we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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