I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
