I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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