there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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