2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
being pregnant is like rehab
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
