she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
