I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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