um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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