this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just want nice things and good sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
