she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I want to be your penis for a week.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
