I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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