Christians are straight up FREAKS
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
