This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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