I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
