i barfeds in our rink
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
