i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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