I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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