@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
