There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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