roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
