before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
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I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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