question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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