i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I need moral support for this bender
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
