you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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