ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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