who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
