Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
