Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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