so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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