Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
