when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
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I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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