Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
