Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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