I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
do nipples grow back?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
