Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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