there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
