I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
