At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
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Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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